Trying To Breathe

Good morning beautiful W3,

I am wondering today… do you drink coffee? Do you indulge in this drink that I have been known to drink? {ok, almost daily… ok.ok… daily… and we won’t even talk about if it’s more than once a day, okay?}

I think that this drink was made just specifically to rejuvenate my tired body and even more tired soul. I ask if you drink coffee because today I want to have coffee with you. Yes, YOU!

Now, you might be thinking or even muttering to yourself some of the following statements: “Christa, I don’t do coffee. I can’t take caffeine. I don’t like the taste. I prefer tea.” Well… my answer to you to any of those statements would be:

“Whatever YOU want to drink. That works for me. You want to drink water? You got it. You want tea? No problem. Whatever you want to pour yourself a cup of it.”

Because today, W3, I don’t want to email.
Today, I don’t want to give my favourite top three…
I want to simply talk with you like old girlfriends over coffee, can we do that?

Let’s pretend for a moment, shall we?

Humor me for a pause and let your tired imagination awaken for a few minutes. Imagine a coffee shop.

If you were to walk in, I would greet you with a hug and ask you… “How are you? What have you been up to? How was the drive?” Simple. Basic. Nothing too profound. That is how you normally start a conversation. Break the ice a bit so to speak. Even if you and I had been old friends and know each other for over a decade, I would still ask those same questions.

So today, I want to know, W3, how are YOU? I truly to do want to know. This is me asking you deeper than just a passing by while we are two ships sailing through the night. This is me pausing… ASKING… and LOOKING you in the eye… how ARE you?

I ask that today, because, W3, I have come to realize how infrequently we “really” ask that of each other. Or perhaps you are someone who frequently DOES the asking, but you notice that it isn’t often asked back in the same way.

Now, if things are not the MOST rosy in your world, or you are going through some shifts or changes that are challenging – saying goodbye or hello as the situation warrants – I am going to listen. That’s all. (crazy right?!)

I am not going to try and fix it for you, or offer advice, I am merely going to bear witness to what YOU are experiencing without adding my filter or perspective. Because you see, sometimes that is the most powerful experience, and all we need. 
So when you ask this question to me … if you were REALLY asking … you would hear my truth. “I am heartbroken about some things. I am worn out and tired. I don’t know which way to go except to just BREATHE and take another step as I do my own versions of ‘goodbye’ and ‘hello’.

Oh boy…

Maybe you have noticed. Maybe not?
I have been quiet for a while now.
I have been more reserved.
The Universe has thrown a lot, A LOT, at me.
At my family.
Behind the scenes at W3 overall.
And I have been conscious and present through it all, knowing that slivers of light are pouring through.

And if we were having coffee…
After dropping that bomb.
That heavy amount of truth syrup…
I would take a sip, I would take a pause and then ask you…
“How are you?”

Because W3!
And here is the lighter part of my rambling today.
CONVERSATIONS are not about just one person.
Friendships are not just all take.
Relationships are a two-way street.

And with me saying I am struggling, I want to know how you are doing?
Having coffee with you is not about me pouring {HA! NO pun intended!} my troubles into and on you. It is about being HONEST with you. Acknowledging that yes, yes I have been quiet.

And I know you know it.
I know I know it.

And that is where I am right now. And that’s ok. We acknowledge it. We sit together in it. You offer me your support (as you have already been doing) whether silently with your presence or by knocking the door down with your love and care.

But where are you? How are YOU doing?

What as 2018 been like for you?
How is your family?
How is your life? Busy? Fast paced? Too slow?

What is challenging you?
If you had a magic wand what would you wish for this year?
What is the ache in your soul … and what could ease it?

W3, will you let me know how you are doing too?
I may have been quiet, but I am here.

You are loved,