Good morning beautiful W3,
Did you know W3, that setting firm boundaries is an act of radical love?
That’s no small statement.
Setting boundaries is an act of love.
Setting firm boundaries is an act of radical love.
When you set firm (recognizable, absolute) boundaries you’re declaring “I am worthy and this is where I stand”.
As we know, everything is born from either fear or love, but never both. By setting firm boundaries, you are actively choosing to love yourself and requesting that others do the same.
So often, the reason we don’t set firm boundaries is fear. Fear of the reaction of another, fear of consequences or conflict, fear of change (because the current experience IS familiar and familiar IS comfortable).
Do you know what every healthy relationship MUST have? That’s right … boundaries!
So where do we start?
First … if you haven’t already, download the Wild and Wise Boundaries Guide, it is a great start to setting boundaries in your life that you can feel good about!
Second … what the heck is a boundary anyway?
I think this is a great definition:
Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.
Do you have relationships in your life that need boundaries that are more firm and identified?
Write down your list of relationships that do not currently have healthy boundaries – where how the other person behaves in the relationship (or how you behave in the relationship) is not reasonable, safe, or permissible or acceptable.
Now write down the list of relationships that DO have healthy boundaries! Where you feel good in the relationship; safe, respected and accepted, and you feel that same way about another.
How do your lists balance out? Want to go a step deeper? Write down WHY you DO and DON’T feel safe, respected, and accepted in these relationships. What are the actions and reactions that are taking place that are crossing boundaries?
You see beautiful W3, the first step is Accountability.
Getting complete clarity around a situation, identifying the FACTS and truth of an experience. It is only from that place that any of us can move forward.
This isn’t easy work (Self Work rarely is) and so be gentle and kind with your Self as you move through any steps.
And I know first hand how boundaries can get all mixed up and scrambled when grief and loss are pieces of the puzzle. There is pressure to behave in certain ways, to accept certain behaviour from others, I know W3 because I’ve been there.
It’s why – along with all of the pain-filled experiences going on around the world right now, that loss and grief and finding our way to the other side seemed like the very best first Wild and Wise Sisterhood workshop topic we wanted to tackle.
We will expand on the boundary work we are starting here together, along with so much more! If you haven’t subscribed to be a part of it yet (it’s bonus #2 when you join the Sisterhood) there’s absolutely still time!